What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
birth control should be required to get into college
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
