I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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