I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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