I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
NoShamevember. You game?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize