there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
