I got chris browned last night
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
