She said her name was "party"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
