I'm jealous of your bromance
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
