He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish you could order shots online.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
