sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
