how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
