Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I would fuck him just for his dog
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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