I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
