That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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