I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
