I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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