Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
