LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
