and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
