thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.