lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?