oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.