is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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