just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
