why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize