We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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