Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
