I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
