My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
