I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
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Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
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animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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