I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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