period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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