He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize