the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
