go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
