So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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