I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
