Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
