The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Mom said you looked used
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
