Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
