Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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