True but thats because hes a fetus.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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