yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
