So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
