somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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