Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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