They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
