She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize