The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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