So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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