I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
