You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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