im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
