I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Even my vagina gasped.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
