she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
