I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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