trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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