rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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