I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
