The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
