there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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