I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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