I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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