nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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