his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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