Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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