Well apparently he's into motor boating.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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